Spotting the Signs: Romance Scams
Podcast Transcription
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Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of PFCU’s Money Talk Podcast, I’m your host, Maddy. I realized today that I have never dedicated an episode to romance scams. And I know that I’ve talked about it in previous episodes a little bit but I really wanted to focus in on these scams. According to the FTC, in 2023, 64,000 romance scams were reported totaling losses of $1.14 billion which is a median loss of about $2,000 per person. I want to walk through what this scam can look like including warning signs, methods that these scammers use and what to do if you or someone you know is a victim.
And just in case if you don’t know, a romance scam is exactly what it sounds like. It’s when someone pretends to be in a relationship with their victim in order to steal information or money. These crimes are all over the internet and it’s really not just focused on one specific age group or demographic, anyone can fall victim to these scams. So these are happening in messaging apps, dating sites, social media profiles. The world is so digital now, that it’s normal to find social groups and friends, and even romantic partners online, quickly and easily. But accepting the ease of a digital age invites a whole bunch of unexpected risks that are lurking behind the screens.
Ask yourself this- at what point does the charmer you meet online stop being categorized as a stranger? A day, a week, a year? Are they safe when you meet them in person or even just through video call? That really gets you thinking doesn’t it? Like, when does that person that you meet become someone that you actually truly know?
Here are just a few commonly used romance scam tactics. Maybe you or someone you know has been involved in something similar.
The first is, an online partner offers to give money for rent or food in exchange for depositing $5,000 into a bank account and delivering it, in cash, to one of their friends.
The second one is, not too long after meeting an online stranger, they confess their love and start asking for little pick-me-ups here and there. By the end of it all, nearly $30,000 is lost without you even realizing it.
And the third one, somebody overseas wants a ring and a beautiful wedding. There’s only one problem; the stranded foreigner doesn’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket and needs help.
So, now I’m going to go through 3 stages of a scammer’s typical process so that you can recognize when there’s a scam before it’s too late.
Stage 1 is the catfish profile.
Every scammer needs an online platform to use as well as a likable persona. They use fake social media, dating, and messaging app profiles to attract their targeted victim pool.
Now, the skilled catfish is not going to have a lot of information or pictures out there on their profile. And the few pictures that they might have are going to be stolen and the image is often someone you might consider trustworthy. So, think of like soldiers, businessmen, doctors or it could just be someone that looks like a kind person. And usually, this person is going to live in another country.
Stage 2 is grooming the victim.
The scammer takes any chance they get to relate and spoil their target. So, this is the process leading up to asking for what they want.
- They’ll share a fake backstory that’s kind of similar to the victim’s story. So, they can relate to them.
- They're confident and they’re quick to demonstrate their love and need for their target shortly after the initial meeting.
- They always say the “right” thing.
- They send flowers, chocolates, jewelry, and other gifts to make up for not being able to meet in person.
There’s one thing they won’t do. Meet in person. They always have a reasonable excuse for not, such as:
- They live overseas.
- They’re away on business; could be military deployment, business training, a business trip, an internship
- They’re visiting relatives overseas.
- An emergency came up and they’re already out of town.
- They don’t have enough money to travel and meet up.
The list goes on and on.
Stage 3 is the money request.
Now that the scammer has you hooked on their fake profile, they’ve hooked you into the relationship by grooming you with the kind words, and the right story and the gifts, now they’re going to start asking for help. It starts small with little things like gas money or a bus fare because they “forgot their wallet” and they’re stranded or whatever justifiable reason they give you. This first request is usually a test, are you going to pass or fail. The minute a person gives them money, it shows that they’re willing to and likely to do it again.
You might think it’d be easy to recognize a romance scam and you’re right, it is but also think about when emotions get involved. Scammers are relying on your emotions to steer the ship. Rationality is thrown out the window and justification starts setting in. Most people would do anything for someone that they love.
So, let’s talk about what you could do if you’re worried about the validity of somebody’s profile. Save their profile picture to your computer and do a reverse image search to see if that image was stolen from another website. And you can look up how to do a reverse image search. I can’t say I’ve done it before so I don’t know what that process looks like. But in addition to fake pictures, scammers will often get message scripts off the internet that have been pre-written, so if you take their messages and you copy and paste them into a search engine you can see if there are any existing messaging scripts that match what they wrote to you. Which is so wild to me.
So, if you or someone you know is a victim of a romance scam, there are a few next steps that should be taken.
First is to contact your bank’s or credit union’s fraud department. Next is if you met the fraudster on a dating app, report them to the dating site. And also report them to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.
I know that was a lot of information but just stay vigilant especially is there’s someone that you know that’s starting to get maybe involved with someone online that could have some red flags of a romance scam. Thank you for listening to this episode of PFCU’s Money Talk, see you all next time!
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